That’s me! This post came alittle late, but I just want to let Ethyl know that I’m not that wonderful a Mommy I yearn to be.
What did I do? I actually shouted at her in the middle of the night when she’s so fussy and cranky all because she was sick. This has been happening almost all the time during last week and I really do not have enough rest.
Ethyl kept whining and tossing…I was fuming…”Won’t you just sleep if you are tired? Mommy has to work tomorrow! I don’t want you!” And I left her crying in Hubby’s arms.
Amazingly, Ethyl seems to understand! She cried even louder when I ‘threw’ her to Hubby. Looking at a helpless baby, tired Hubby and a fuming Mommy, I can’t imagine I actually told her “I don’t want you!”
Ethyl kept extending her arms and wanted me to carry her. I hugged her with remorse. I felt terrible! I’m lousy, a lousy Mommy. How can I do this to her?
She hugged me when I had her in my arms and I apologise to her softly. I’m guilty! She’s not feeling well and can’t bring her message across and here I am, her pillar, actually shouted at her like a mad woman! *sigh*
Hubby saw this scene and he did not say a word. He knows that I felt guilty.
He woke up early the next day, did some housework (at 4+ in the morning) so that I do not have to wake up so early and catch some beauty sleep.
He’s sweet ain’t he? And now, I’m being ‘upgraded’ from a lousy Mommy to a lousy wife.
I did not switch off my mobile and received an sms from Hubby at about 0600hrs saying “Dear, I have done most of the things. You do not have to wake up so early. Love u”.
Deep in my heart, I really thank the almighty above us for sending such a wonderful and thoughtful Hubby. He’s in the morning shift and yet, he did not utter a word of discontentment bdue to lack of sleep. And here I am, shouting and railing like nobody’s business because I’m tired. *bash myself*
After this incident, I dare not shout at baby for no rhyme no reason. I do not want my baby coming to me saying “Mommy, why do you scold me for no reason! I hate you!” If she does, my heart will definitely shatter!
I’m one lousy mama too..not patient enough to deal with Damien when he’s sick and having a difficult time to fall asleep. I kept focusing on how tired i’ll be the next day at work and forgotten about the fact that the poor boy is suffering…:( Your article makes me so guilty that i’m gonna do some soul searching now….:(
Hi Eileen…Guess we do behave the same in certain aspects…
I focus on how tired I will be but not on how terrible Ethyl is feeling…
We will still be their wonderful Mommy if we change for the better!
Let’s cheer on!
hey!your baby is about the same age as mine!don’t worry you are not alone!I am also guilty of “scolding” my baby when she wakes up in the early morning and refuses to sleep.At that time I felt so BAD
Heh..I am being a lousy mama before too. Agreed with Blurblur.. ought to do some soul searching. Usually felt so guilty and heartpain after having raised my voice at Claudia or even slapped her thigh (dun worry.. not using full strength, just wanna quiet her down). I admit this is a wrong way.. sometimes just ain’t controllable out of frustration… so lousy… 😥